Melora

From Improbable Cause ;

Garak: "The fault, dear Tain, is not in our stars but in ourselves."

Occasionally I might divert from routine and share an adventurous lunch with Dr Bashir at the Klingon restaurant.

Aside from the sporadic wailing of Klingon opera from the waiter, this type of meal provides a welcome change from the clinical sameness of the replimat.

Today Dr Bashir seemed somewhat melancholy. His usual frontier enthusiasm had waned due to another failed romance. I was rather surprised that on this occasion he had sought me out for consolation.

I normally find human romance off-putting, especially the post mortem of picking through the bones of an unrealised fairytale.

Cardassian women are relatively straight forward. In fact they are ferociously forward - and they immediately pursue another relationship if there is no successful outcome of the first. There is little work for the Cardassian male in the labour of love.

"Melora was perfect in so many ways. She was bright, feisty, intelligent and beautiful. And now all I have to look forward to today is a bowlful of Gach." moaned the good doctor, mournfully prodding the writhing pile of his food.

"Look at this way Doctor, your intellect has been challenged though your heart wounded. Your feelings have at least been exercised by this romantic interlude. There are many here who have had little opportunity to achieve the highs, lows and consequential angst that you have.". I nodded towards Morn at the next table.

“Morn has actually had a large string of successes recently. He holds a regular captive audience at the bar with his romantic epics.”, bemoaned the good Doctor. “Besides that his species are almost guaranteed success by their social set up – a bit like the Ferengi – Lurian females are somewhat subservient in their society.”

“So, you are left in an emotional stew.”, I eyed the next raw looking Klingon delicacy with interest. “But remember – even though this relationship didn’t work out – it seemed you helped Melora out of her own angst. You unlocked a part of her life that even she didn’t have the cipher for. Perhaps that is what some relationships are about, even the abortive ones; to unchain troubled aspects of other’s lives - and then to move on.”

“Does that thought count for Cardassians as well Garak?” parried the Doctor. “I doubt if anyone has unlocked anything except the tiniest aspects of your life.”

“You would be very surprised Doctor – but that conversation is reserved for another luncheon.”

Leading a Linear Life

I remember in the beginning stages of our occupation of Bajor that my whole modus operandi was clearly defined. I knew who my enemies were and I recognised my allies with ease. Patriotism once buried under the daily drudgery of life was liberated and became my waking thought each day. But I discovered there was little heroism in the occupation; only the likes of Gul Dukat could make a series of heroic stories out of a string of command decision failures. My patriotism waned - at least in how Cardassia handled the occupation and in the greater crime of ignoring it's consequences.

What then is my modus operandi now? Being exiled to this station does have it's limitations. I may (or may not) be "the eyes and ears" of my fellow Cardassians as Dr Bashir puts it - but I have become more selective of late in what I see and hear in reporting to the Cardassian government.

Whatever my purpose in life now it must be as linear as possible. I have recently scrutinised one of Commander Sisko's earliest log entries (I still dabble in breaking Federation security codes - it's a hobby) about his first experience with the Wormhole aliens. They taught him that to look back and still live in the moment of his wife's death on the starship Saratoga was 'not linear' or unprogressive. His life was effectivly frozen in a turbulent episode of his past. Living in the present and directing the future of his life was being overrun by this traumatic past event.

Granted that some time for grieving in this situation is necessary - though life must eventually move on and life is far too precious to squander by living in the past. New epiphanies, knowledge and relationships must be found and explored now in order to make the most of life's infinite possibilities.

For what it is worth I quote from Commander Sisko's log at the point where he reviews his wife's death with the wormhole aliens - one of who becomes an image of Jennifer his deceased wife;

SISKO

I've never left this ship ...

JENNIFER ALIEN

You exist here.

SISKO

I... exist here.

SISKO
(to the aliens)
I don't know if you can understand.
I see her like this every time I close my eyes... in the darkness in the blink of an eye, she's there...
like this...

JENNIFER ALIEN
None of your past experiences helped prepare you for this consequence...

Sisko shakes his head, slowly...

SISKO
(softly)
And I've never figured out how to
live without her.

JENNIFER ALIEN
So you choose to exist here.

He nods, unable to speak... she moves closer...

JENNIFER ALIEN
It is not linear.

SISKO
No. It's not... linear.

Codes of Behaviour

Not everyone is aware that there is a new school aboard the station. It serves the small numbers of children permanently based here and is run with enthusiasm by Mrs Keiko O'Brian.
Hardly a day goes by without an exclamation of some new epiphany by at least one child passing my clothiers shop on their return from class. Much of the time these exclamations would come from the station commander's son Jake Sisko.

Jake seems to be a curious and bright boy; certainly the alter ego of his friend Nog who is sometimes physically escorted/dragged to the classroom door by his ferengi father Rom. On a positive note I have heard lately of Jake's efforts to help his friend Nog learn to read. This altruistic behaviour is very refreshing; particularly being executed across such a wide cultural divide. This will undoubtedly have a far reaching effect on Nog.

Every culture needs altruistic individuals to survive and I include Cardassia in this regard. Altruism requires a belief in self and the faith that the world and people around you can be changed for the better. Of course the Obsidian Order that has promoted such micro managed lives by watchfulness and obediance in our society has worked quite well but walks uncomfortably with this ideal. The trade offs also include a loss of individualism and creativity amongst us.

I do predict a dermise of the Order in the near future. I suspect Enabran Tain (head of the Obsidian Order) who sees all and knows all is blind to the thoughts I have outlined above. Cardassia needs new life and purpose to survive and this can only be sourced from outside it's rigid social structure.

Being on the station has definitely widened my point of view on how certain codes of behaviour can benefit any society. Could I, Elim Garak, provide a catalyst to promote a valuable change to Cardassian society? Perhaps the slight rewriting of a ferengi Rule of Acquisition might contain some answers;

Opportunity + Instinct + Willingness to Act = Profit (to Society)

Ultimately time will tell. I must be ferengi-like in looking for these opportunities and being ready to act on them no matter the consequences.

Bolian Tonic Water

Deep space nine can be unsavoury at times for a Cardassian like myself because of it's necessary transient and ever changing nature. It is undoubtedly one of the busiest ports within the quadrant.

There are precious little moments of stillness or quietness at the station; especially within the confines of Quarks bar, where it can be quite claustrophobic at times. Cardassians prefer consistancy, permanance and order and these are always demonstrated in our literature. I am re-reading the Cardassian repetitive epic "The Never Ending Sacrifice" which is a soothing read after a bustling day on the Promenade.

For those that are enroute to quieter destinations, I have observed that it can be quite an unproductive collection of moments when waiting for transport. Some of these moments are fortunately spent in my humble establishment where far too much latinum is spent and often done on a whim.

I had an interesting conversation with Odo today about the transient life on this station. I asked him how he managed to live such an orderly life in such a chaotic environment.

"I make sure that my routine is strictly observed on a daily basis.". The constable then added gruffly " If anyone tries to deflect me from my routine - I certainly let them know about it".

"You are well known for your meticulous routine." I replied and remembered with some amusement. "I have noticed that the Bolian restaurant owner now sets her opening hours to your routine."

Odo's eternal curiosity became piqued and he leaned forward. "Does she now? When does her restaurant open?"

"It is always when you go off duty - when you revert into your liquid state.". I had been slightly curious myself as to the Bolian's timing. "But it is in the early evening when you might expect a restaurant to open." I countered.

Odo started out of the security office and I followed - curious as to where this investigation would lead. He was heading directly toward the restaurant in question.

"Two Bajoran monks were severly affected by food poisoning at the restaurant last week. While they were in Dr Bashir's care it just happened that numerous valuables - mostly of religious value were stolen from the promenade temple.".

Odo reacted to me as I suddenly stopped in mid-step. "I had a large helping of Bolian tomato soup last week. It was a little more acidic than I would normally like, but pleasant none the less. Could I have been affected by this food poisoning Odo?"

"I doubt it; only these monks were affected according to Dr Bahir's medical logs." replied Odo.

We approached Lysia Arlin - the female Bolian who I recognised to be the object of the constable’s attention.

"Didn't Lysia used to have a romantic interest in you constable?" I asked.

"Only from the point of view of leutenant Dax and you know her reputation for romantic gossip. She once tried matchmaking a Breen with a Klingon that had some unfortunate consequences. And this was some time ago when she used to run the Jumja kiosk." Odo said this in a dismissive manner, clearly wanting to close the subject as rapidly as possible.

As we approached Lysia she welcomed Odo with gusto. "Hello constable. How delightful for you to visit me! Would you like to dine? Or some Bolian tonic water perhaps?". She seemed to be over zealous to be the perfect host to Odo. She then addresed me more curtly. "Mr Garak; a fellow promenade merchant. Greetings to you."

Odo, predictable as ever, was straight to the point. "Lysia, you should remember by now that I don't eat or drink and have never done so. Where were you four nights ago at 21:00 hours? Can anyone vouch for your whereabouts then?"

Lysia appeared to ignore his question and continued to play host and addressed me instead. "Mr Garak – surely a table for you. The house special is certainly recommended for the Cardassian palat." She punctuated her point by handing me a menu.

I smiled in return and noticed a curious feature of her now revealed bracelet. "I spend far too much of my life in eating out these days, so no thank you." and without a beat added "What a fascinating piece of jewelry you have. An expensive looking Bajoran gem stone set in Bolian silver. May I see?"

She instantly withdrew her hand, but not before Odo's sharp eyes had taken in the details. "That gemstone appears to be exactly the same configuration as was the stone taken from the temple recently. I'd be interested to talk about where you found this one. If you don't mind I think you should come down to the security office."

"But my customers! How shall I...". Lysia's normally blue face had gone some shades whiter.

"Don't worry!" I lied. "I have had some experience in the catering business. I will look after your business in the meantime."

And as constable Odo led her away I gave her a small bottle from a nearby table. I smiled as she took it. "Bolian tonic water to steady your nerves - you may just find it useful."

Coincidences

"I believe in coincidence. Coincidences happen every day. But I don't trust coincidences. "
Elim Garak quoted from'Cardassians'.

Coincidences are either manufactured by mortals or they are the product of blind chance. It's the manufactured ones I don't trust; especially those particularly engineered for me.

Most of the Bajoran inhabitants of the station see their coincidences divinely sourced. I observe that this makes up a good proportion of their spiritual lives. Forinstance, the new Jumja confectionary seller Doran Matar emoted to me yesterday that it was the Prophets who had led him and his business to the station.

"For what purpose?" I probed.

"It was to save the life of a Revered monk - curator of the temple on this station. He collapsed in front of my stall on the promenade - right at my feet. It was me who attended to him and signalled a medical emergency. Clearly the prophets guided me to be there at that precise place and time to save his life." said Doran, with a voice of reverance.

"Was there no one else on the promenade at the time who could have helped this poor man?" I questioned - hoping for some reasoned debate; knowing full well that during trading hours on the promenade it was always busy.

Doran looked at me darkly. "It was the will of the prophets!. I was meant to save him. Now if you will excuse me I must see to my customers."

I turned around expecting to see a queue of hungry Jumja connaisseurs behind me. None were to be found."Who am I to stand in the way of a flourishing enterprise?" I smiled, briefly allowing the surreal moment to suspend a little more.

I continued to smile. "But before I go, you might be interested to note that Prilar Toran, ex temple curator has been incarcerated for fraud. He took half of the donations given by hardworking worhippers such as yourself to try and fund weapons for a renegade political group called 'The True Way'. Isn't it remarkable how the course of a life can change?. Good day to you Doran."

I added a polite "Excuse me." to the fictional line of his salivating customers before returning to my humble shop - to hopefully service some real flesh and blood clientel.

Open and Closed Minds

I remember one of my first conversations with Dr Bashir as this:-

Bashir: You know, some people say that you remained on Deep Space Nine as the eyes and ears of your fellow Cardassians.
Garak (astonished): You don't say! Doctor, you're not intimating that I'm some sort of spy, are you?
Bashir: I wouldn't know, sir.
Garak: Ah. An open mind. The essence of intellect.

Now who else would I consider on the station has an open mind? Commander Sisko has shown a remarkable ability to navigate through some quite difficult situations and has been open minded in many of them. He has been open minded with many of the more pemananent and dubious residents on the station. How much of the federation leadership would have tolerated Quark (a shady history from any angle) to remain on the station? Or for that matter myself? Sisko did.

Now consider Jadzia Dax. Seven life times of experience and no sign of pessimism yet. She enjoys an open minded life much of the time in her current host. Playing Tongo deep into the night with those loathsome ferengi is not a common interest amongst humanoids - that if anything shows open mindedness.

I have observed Quark and other ferengi operating according to the 'Rules of Aquisition'. So far he has survived but not especially prospered. I can't help but deliberate that if he operated outside these rules at times; the latinum laced rewards would be more forthcoming. His brother Rom is more intriguing. At first you might see a downtrodden and subserviant employee of Quarks. But at second observation there is a certain determination and tenacity shown under duress . He has hope for a more rewarding future; and that hope is not tinged in the same way of desparation shown so openly by Quark. Rom wins against Quark in open mindedness.

Chief O'Brian I have had little communication with so far. Perhaps because his experence of Cardassians to date has been in unsettling circumstances. The battle of Setlik 3 for instance. The chief seems closed on his views about my race. But his technical ingenuity and determination have rescued and rebuilt this station a number of times already. I have a certain admiration for that. Cardassian technology does not interface well with it's federation counterparts.

Major Kira - well my study of her mind could take volumes of fascinating discertation. Certainly an asset to commander Sisko in the rebuilding and running of this station. Her strength of will and passion is refreshing and represents a suprising element found in many of the of the Bajoran people - certainly underestimated by the former Cardassian prefect of the station - Gul Dukat.
Is the major open minded? In one sense she is progressive in listening to the idea that Bajor could become a Federation member. On the other hand her faith in the Prophets and her religious texts have at times been binding on some occasions but enlightening on others. A little more flexibility on her faith might have her being objective rather than subjective in her command decisions. On balance she has open mindedness but there is some ongoing internal struggle between practical decision making and deference to her faith. More on this in future log enteries I think.

Lunch with Dr Bashir and Einstein

Lunch at the replimat today included Dr Bashir quoting from an Albert Einstein (there's an alien sounding surname if I have ever heard one). Supposedly he was the most important scientist of Earth's 20th century. But he had some very Cardassian sounding ideas which piqued my interest.

"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." - which makes you wonder how many sources Einstein had in 'creating' his theories.

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. " - I agree plain and simple is the best essence of a very complicated universe.

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.". - Now that's difficult for a Cardassian with a cast-away life on this very cold station. Move where? I must be content with my lot of watching life passing me by on the promenade. Gul Dukat has seen to that. Though there is plenty of life to observe on Deep Space Nine; much of it fascinating. Some poor souls even chance to cross the doorway into my Tailor shop where I can observe even closer. No interrogations unfortunately - our constable Odo would certainly disagree to this type of activity.

Lastly Dr Bashir mentioned these gems : "A person starts to live when he can live outside himself." and "Imagination is more important than knowledge. ". I completely agree on the latter- and I may add that the truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination. I regularly use mine; the truth can be so tedious at times.

I suspect that humans have much more in common with Cardassians than they realise, including Dr Bashir and the good scientist Einstein. I look forward to our next meeting with my new friend.